Is Human Love Essentially Transactional? An Examination of Unconditional Love and Reciprocity

Edited by Amy Guillen-Lanza

Abstract

This paper examines whether human love inherently follows transactional logic—requiring reciprocity and mutual benefit—or if it can exist authentically as unconditional love, independent of reciprocal conditions. Through everyday analogies and philosophical exploration, the essay argues that genuine love, particularly unconditional love, does not necessitate reciprocity. Instead, its authenticity lies in the intrinsic value of love and its associated emotions. To contextualize unconditional love, the essay first contrasts it with transactional relationships, exemplified by capitalist exchanges like selling handmade items. These economic interactions clearly illustrate the human tendency toward reciprocity and mutual benefit. However, not all attachments or affections strictly follow transactional logic. Examples such as the human fascination with indifferent creatures like cats, nurturing a flowerless plant, or a swimming coach experiencing genuine happiness through students' successes illustrate love or care that persists without explicit reciprocity. These examples set the stage for deeper philosophical analysis. The paper then explores Greek Philosopher Aristotle’s three categories of friendship—utility, pleasure, and goodness—to distinguish conditional relationships that inherently require mutuality. Subsequently, it examines German Philosopher Immanuel Kant’s ethical framework, emphasizing good will and moral actions undertaken purely for intrinsic value rather than external rewards, which aligns closely with the concept of unconditional love. Finally, Persian Poet Rumi’s perspective underscores love as fundamentally unconditional, selfless, and free from transactional expectations, reinforcing the authenticity of unconditional love. Addressing potential objections, the essay clarifies that unconditional love does not imply tolerance of harmful or emotionally draining situations but coexists with self-respect and healthy boundaries. Ultimately, unconditional love is presented as an authentic, meaningful, and practically relevant aspect of human experience—real, sincere, and fundamentally independent of reciprocity or conditions.